Other parent not always the demon – judge

There comes a point in life and in litigation when parents must accept that the other co-parent is not the demon they believe the other to be, an acting judge said during a bitter battle between two divorced parents over the care of their eight-year-old son. The mother had accused the father of ‘subjecting the child to sexual molestation’, but the allegations had proved to be untrue, notes a Pretoria News report. It was ruled earlier that the child should, for now, live with the father because of the mother’s efforts at ‘parental alienation’. The mother turned to the Gauteng High Court (Johannesburg) in a bid for the court to order that the child be returned to her. Acting Judge Sarita Liebenberg said a child had the right to a close and loving relationship with both parents and both sides of the family. She said continued litigation was traumatic for a child and did not serve the best interests of either the child or the parents. ‘I trust both the applicant (mother) and the first respondent (father) will come to this acceptance sooner rather than later, for the sake of L (the child) and for themselves,’ the judge said.

Liebenberg noted that the child has been prodded, interviewed and questioned by numerous strangers in his short life. His relationship with each of his parents remained the subject of investigations and therapeutic processes. She said the prayer for yet another investigation appeared to be informed by the insult the mother suffered as a result of the references to parental alienation rather than being in L’s best interests, notes the Pretoria News. ‘I was not satisfied that another investigation aimed at disproving the suggestions of parental alienation is reasonable or necessary in the circumstances … Yet another forensic investigation will result in more trauma and upheaval in L’s life and will only serve to delay the finalisation of the proceedings in the lower court,’ the judge said. She added that the parties had chosen to have a child and, thereafter, had opted to terminate their romantic relationship. ‘I have little doubt that both the applicant and the first respondent have acted less than honourably because of their own pains and the wounds they each suffered.’ The judge expressed the hope that the parents would realise that enough was enough.